AMAZON OPENS ITS BIG MOUTH
Cool doesn’t last forever.
Amazon had it. Now it doesn’t.
I need your help, Jeff Bezos, founder of Amazon, told his secret planning group. People expect innovation these days. They were meeting in the “Black Board Room” in a trailer behind the executive offices.
Yeah, Said the woman next to him. We better shake things up some. My kid told his class he thinks I work for Sears.
We’re drying out.
Bezos looked flustered. Drying out?
Like an old pastry. The last creative idea we had was when you copied the idea for those Android tablets.
Yeah. THAT was outside the box! said the guy across the table.
Bezos gave him a warning look.
The woman slumped. Maybe we just accept the fact that we had one amazing, huge idea. Why not just keep milking it? We’re doing okay.
Except we’ve never made a profit.
Another warning look. Sharper.
Undaunted, she went on. What about drones?
Drones? Like in Afghanistan?
We could say we’re testing drones to deliver packages.
That’s not exactly practical.
If Benjamin Franklin thought that way, we wouldn’t have electricity. It’s kind of crazy, yes. But – you know what? – it would change the subject from “When are you going to make money?”
I’m all for that Bezos said.
Here’s how it would work. You order something, right? That part doesn’t change.. But when you get to the “shopping cart”, if you’re an Amazon Prime member, you would find a new shipping method called by drone. If you select it, an order goes out to the Amazon Drone Operations Center where the product you ordered is hustled onto a specially equipped Amazon Flying Machine. The rotor spins up, the drone leaps into the air, and, as it is stabilizing itself, the shipping address shows up wirelessly.
No lost time.
The machine then charts the fastest delivery route and, within 60 minutes, carefully delivers the package as close as possible to the delivery point.
I love it, Bezos said. What about the details? What would it do when it arrived at a high rise? One with buzzers? And what about accidents and practical stuff like cost and reliability?
Let me ask you something, Jeff, she said. Did you drive here in a self driving car?
He looked confused. Self driving? I have a driver. . Oh. One of those Google things?
I guess I do see your point. They’ve been yacking about self-driving cars for years. Nobody takes this stuff seriously. It’s only innovation, right? A way to change the subject from profitability?
Ding! Said the woman across the table, a smile spreading across her face.
Call the PR department. We’ll get working on this immediately.
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The drawing is mine. You probably figured that out from the copyright.