Posts Tagged mouth breathers


Posted by on Tuesday, 13 April, 2010



Remember Hal Finkelstein?

The glasses? The awful red sneakers?

Remember how he breathed through his mouth all the time? The way his nostrils seemed welded together? “Ngh! Gimme BANNNK my BOOK!”

Hey Finkelstein. You still out there? Maybe you should see a dentist. There’s a study in General Dentistry by Yosh Jefferson, DMD. Breathing through your mouth? It isn’t good for you.  You get a bad look, okay?

Your face gets longer and narrower (like you, Finkelstien, now that I think about it). Your teeth get crooked, your gums go bad, and you could even get ADD, high blood pressure, heart problems, and other stuff.

If Finkelstein’s any example, it doesn’t do much for your personality neither.  (Sorry Fink.)

I wouldn’t be so mean if there wasn’t stuff a mouth breather can do. But there is. Dr. Jefferson says a good place to start would be a dentist. You don’t like dentists? See your GP.  The problem could be caused by tonsils, adenoids, allergies, narrow passages (that can be expanded). Other stuff.

By the way, I  also wouldn’t be so mean if Finkelstien didn’t happen to be a figment of my silly imagination. You can be sure I’ll be hearing from SOME Hal Finkelstien anyway. He’ll turn out to be a mouth breather. And he’s gonna read this and and send me hate mail.

I’ll probably send some to myself.

ScienceAintSoBadRating = 0 to myself and my cold indifference to the Hal Finkelstein’s of the world.

But ScienceAintSoBadRating  = 8 for a useful study, bringing to light an unexpected and troubling condition which can be remedied if caught.