IS YOUR KID HAVING TROUBLE BREATHING?
WITHOUT HIS GLASSES
“BREATHERS”
Remember Hal Finkelstein?
The glasses? The awful red sneakers?
Remember how he breathed through his mouth all the time? The way his nostrils seemed welded together? “Ngh! Gimme BANNNK my BOOK!”
Hey Finkelstein. You still out there? Maybe you should pop by the dentist. I been readin’ about mouth breathers – a study in General Dentistry by Yosh Jefferson, DMD.
Not good.
The faces of “breathers” change. In a bad way.
They get longer and narrower (like you, Finkelstien, now that I think about it). Their teeth get crooked, their gums go bad, and they’re at at risk for ADD, high blood pressure, heart problems, and lots of other stuff.
If Finkelstein’s any example, it doesn’t do much for yer personality neither. (Sorry Fink.)
I wouldn’t be so mean if there wasn’t stuff a mouth breather can do. But there is. Dr. Jefferson, being a dentist, suggests that a good place to start would be a.. a dentist. (I’m in shock!). A GP could probably help too.
Could be tonsils, adenoids, allergies, narrow passages (that can be expanded). Other stuff.
I also wouldn’t be so mean if Finkelstien didn’t happen to be a figment of my overheated imagination.
But you can be sure I’ll be hearing from SOME Hal Finkelstien anyway. He’ll turn out to be a mouth breather. And he’s gonna read this and HATE MISTER ScienceAintSoBad.
And I’ll hate myself!
ScienceAintSoBadRating = 0 to myself and my cruel indifference to the Hal Finkelstein’s of the world.
But ScienceAintSoBadRating = 8 for a useful study, bringing to light an unexpected and troubling condition which can be remedied if caught.
