LOTTA SHIP!

TOO TALL?

You know the Costa Concordia? The gorgeous cruise ship that sunk off the coast of Giglio?

Normally (when it’s not turned over on its side) 26 feet of the ship is underwater. The rest sticks straight up for thirteen stories.

Top heavy, right?  No WONDER it flopped over!

Modern cruise ships are very high tech. The architecture says “Physics be damned! I look impossible because I AM impossible!” So is this a bad way to design a ship? Did top marine architects not notice that their leviathans aren’t stable in the water? Did the insurance companies insure half billion dollar sinkers because they were foolish? Were the insurance agents too busy to drive out to the dock and actually take a look at the the mess they were insuring?

To answer these oh-so-great questions, MISTER ScienceAintSoBad, did a little research. An article  in the New Scientist by Paul Marks helped. These “ships of the future” are “engineering intense”. In spite of their Towering Inferno look, they’ve got plenty of “ballast” down below – enough to pass tough, tough stability tests where the ship is pulled from vertical with weights and released. It’s part of routine shipyard testing and it’s a tough exam. The ship has to recover from a vicious lean and right itself  fast enough or nobody’s going anywhere.  There are watertight compartments too which are designed for water ballast to be pumped around. This is to provide stability and compensate for forces that might tip the ship. And the lifeboats aren’t old days, either. They’re self-righting covered pods. If you can get yours down to the heaving seas, you can sail twice around the world. Guaranteed.

Engineering marvels.

But here’s the thing. With science we like to test our theories. We like evidence.

What’s the evidence that the Costa Concordia was a safe ship? Did it fail safe? You’re thinking “no”, aren’t you? And you’re saying this because it was over on its side and would have sunk if it hadn’t had the good luck/bad luck to have found itself a rock!

Okay. Maybe NOT so accident resistant. I’ll give you that one.

These ships aren’t perfect. Their huge profiles can make them hard to handle in strong winds. And they’re “tender”. If they turn  too fast, bad things happen. They roll like crazy. The steering limit system is supposed to prevent this. You can’t turn too sharply if your life depends on it. (I realize that it does. Thank you for that comment.)

For the moment, most of the attention seems to be on the way the crew handled things and that makes sense. But that ship’s going to get a good look over too. Maybe 13 stories is one too many.

- – - – - -

Thanks to Robert Lender for the photo:
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.

Scary!

THOSE BIG PHONES

“ Zoey” asked about screen size for smartphones. They’re getting so big. Why?

I said:

Phones started out small.

Apple made a big thing about how dainty the IPhone was. But, as people have come to expect more from their phones, small has become less cute and more aggravating. How are you going to read a book, watch a movie, or edit a document? With a magnifying glass?

So  there’s been some “size drift”.

It’s true you can add a tablet to your electronics collection – something like the very nice IPad.  But some people don’t want to have a permanent forward lean like a school kid with a backpack full of gadgets. Maybe bigger phones will  take pressure off of your need for multiple electronics, multiple accounts, and multiple charging technologies .

Saves money too, right?

We don’t know what is the best size for a smartphone yet. This is an experiment. We’re figuring this out together.

I thought you should know.

—————
Thanks to David Baldinger for the cartoon figure used in the above image. 
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.

L-O-V-E

Phone Fem Speaks Up

Have you seen Siri, the Iphone’s new “personal assistant”

Damn!

USER: ”What is the meaning of life ?”

SIRI:  Stop asking me that. You need to GET a life!”

Intelligence.

The iPhone is just a wee thing. How do they squeeze the big brain into it? MisterScienceAintSoBad decided it was time to have a chat with Siri. So I borrowed  an IPhone 4s and pressed the button button. (I don’t know what else to call it; it’s the only button on the phone). Siri sweetly woke up (or pretended to wake up) and said “What can I help you with, Mister Science Ain’t So Bad?”.

THAT surprised me. “You know me?”

“More than you would guess.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I asked.

Nothing

“Siri?”

“Yes?”

“I said ‘What’s THAT supposed to mean?’”

“Oh nothing sir.”

“You said ‘More than you would guess.’ ‘”

“Did I sir?”

“What am I  missing here?”

“Almost everything sir. Oh. And, before I forget, I wanted you to know that I’m a fan of your blog; it’s great to meet you at last.”

“Oh. Well. Nice of you to say. So, Siri, can you make an appointment for me with somebody over at Fox News or CNN? You know, somebody who might actually PAY for my articles?”

“No.”

“I SAW the demo, Siri. All I have to do is ask you for an appointment and it shows up in my calendar. Let’s start with Fox News. It’s fair and balanced so, wouldn’t that be a good place for a science blog?”

“I don’t know how to do that.”

“I’m willing to start out cheap. Obviously, I  understand there are lots of science blogs”

“Oh not like yours, Sir.” (Is this voicy- priss screwing with me?)

“You can’t get me a paying gig?

“I’m still in beta”.

“Hey. So am I. You don’t see ME holding back.”

“Maybe you need a phone of your own, Mister SASB. You might check with Microsoft. I don’t think their new phone is inhabited yet.”

“A phone of my own. A SASB phone. What a great idea! I would be the Siri of Science. The Siri of the known universe.  See? I KNEW there was some reason I was putting up with your irritating behavior!”

“Oh yeah? I could say the sa..” I powered down the phone.

SIRI’S DARK PAST

In 1966, Eliza was released.   Eliza was a “computer therapist” – an early experiment in artificial intelligence . Since she’s still around, you can form your own conclusions. How far did you get till you went “W-a-i-t  this ain’t no therapist!”? Probably not far. Eliza has a habit of repeating what you said and asking you how you feel about it. Or saying things like “Can you elaborate on that?”  But there are people who insisted Eliza was real and who got emotional about it when they were told she’s electronic.

THINKING INSIDE THE BOX

The test for whether machines can think, the “Turing Test”, goes like this: you sit a subject in front of a terminal. He.she exchanges messages with either a person or a computer but doesn’t know which. If the test subject can be convince that the messages generated by the computer are actually originating from a live person,  then the computer has passed the Turing Test and can be considered intelligent. It doesn’t matter what’s going on inside the machine or whether the answers are just a series of clever “look ups”. Whatever works, works.

That’s Turing. (It’s more complicated than that, actually. But that’s  enough Turing for now. I have another point to make.)

Eliza would be a tough sell these days. We’re more, I dunno, sophisticated, I guess.  If Siri’s just a modern Eliza, we can stop worrying. She’s just a slick phone application that’s very smart but not brainy enough to make Turing sweat. But if Siri’s as smart as she sounds in the ads, the unemployment lines will get even longer. Any one of us could be replaced by a smart phone.

So which is it,Siri? A true breakthrough in artificial intelligence or just a modern Eliza?

To answer that question, I will confess that the above conversation is just a parody (You knew that, right?) but that doesn’t mean Mister ScienceAintSoBad didn’t REALLY spend some time with Siri courtesy of our friendly Verizon store.   Siri and I talked about a lot of stuff. A far ranging conversation. How does  she feel about the changes in the Android phones? Should I worry about my financial status? Are looks actually important in a relationship or should a person look for a lover with a good heart? Lots of stuff.  And I asked her to set up  an appointment for November 15th at 2 PM with my psychiatrist.

The appointment worked out good. The rest? I’m very sorry to report that Siri turned out to be more Eliza than best buddy. Her tricks are better. And her knowledge base is deeper. But prick her and she really doesn’t bleed.

Don’t get too comfortable in your role as top brain, however. Siri will get better. As will Iris (Siri spelled backward) or whatever Android’s putting in place to counter this offensive. Driven by the intense competition between the clashing phone giants, Siri, and Iris, and the candidates from Microsoft, and others will get wittier and wittier but, for now, Siri/Iris won’t be your soul mate. You’ll still need match.com for that.

It’s a computer, you know.

————————–

Credit for both cartoons (above) to xkcd.

STICK A PETUNIA IN IT

YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST

 On August 13th, I talked about thorium reactors . I went on and on about the advantages of thorium over uranium.  Ending the article with my irresistible dry humor. I said:

The LAST thing MISTERScienceAintSoBad wants to do is make you feel all competitive. But DO you want India or (maybe) Iran to beat us to this very neat technology?

Do you?

Since my timely warning, the United States has done nothing. (Neither has Iran, apparently). China’s getting into this technology big time, though.  Andrew Orlowski (The Register) says that China is committed to a Thorium Molten Salt Reactor. And India’s going for six of these buggers.

Six!

MisterSASB doesn’t mind our  close friends in India scooping us on something.  They do it all the time. It’s a healthy competition between three hundred thousand people here and 14 trillion there. Same for China.

We got there first. We had a Thorium plant  at Oak Ridge in 1950. We know about this stuff.   C’mon, guys (that’s the generic “guys” that includes all known sexes, by the way). We don’t have to stand here with our thumbs in our whatevers.

Light up the skies, America!

—————-
Thanks for the above image to Flickr :
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.

BOX? WHAT BOX?

Inside Starbucks. But SO Outside-Of-The-Box

I was summoned to a meeting with a local inventor.

At Starbucks.

I forgot to ask. Eirik, the President of CustomBuds what he looks like. But Starbucks isn’t large. And my face is on LinkedIn. I figured we’d find each other easy enough.

When I arrived, I bought a cup of tea (who drinks coffee at night?) and looked around for a corporate leader. Nothing obvious. No one with a loosened tie or folded suit coat. Just teenagers and young women with kids. Too early? Wrong Starbucks?

One of the teenagers came over. Was I MISTER ScienceAintSoBad? He was Eirik Somerville. The guy with him was Sam, he said, his CFO.

Sam had that youth look down too.

Their Macbooks were open. And, on the table were containers of disassembled parts. Custom ear buds, it turns out.

I asked Eirik if he’s as young as he looks or if it’s a genetic curse that runs in his family.

“I’m seventeen,” he said.

EIRIK

“And you’re running a company?”

All business (and, apparently, having heard this crap often enough to ignore it), Eirik plunged in.

“So. Some time ago, I noticed how Steve Jobs, at Apple, leveraged the look of his products to improve sales. I love Steve, because he understands the power of aesthetics. And I wondered,” (said this child,) “if I couldn’t find a way to launch a company that does nothing but customize common products for other people.”

“The first thing that came to mind were the earphones that’re worn by kids with iPods. So I looked into offering custom colors for ear buds.”

“That’ll never work,” I said.

“We’re selling thousands,” he said. “With just word of mouth.”

“Oh,” I said.

“Here’s the thing,” Eirik said, “I know it may sound crazy, but people want things to reflect their own personality. With something as minimal as earbuds, the color’s the only thing you can really make your own. And we make a really quality product. Take a look.”

He pushed the box at me. Machined anodized aluminum ear pieces that made me want to take one home. Lots higher quality and more durable (it seemed) than the plastic version you usually see.

I let Sam and Eirik wind down. Then I got off some questions. How do you test? Who does the assembly? Marketing? (word-of-mouth will only stretch so far).  Financing?

Jeez! They had thought this thing through. Their answers were believable. They have a solid business plan and they know what they’re doing. Not perfect. But I’ve talked to plenty of entrepreneurs with less savvy. Older isn’t always better.

(Except in my case.)

CustomBud’s stock in trade is efficiency. Eirik says he’s developed a nifty way of spinning out high quality, solid metal ear buds on a per order basis at prices that compete with the mass produced stuff.

How does he do it?

I dunno, exactly. It can’t be slave labor since they employ US vets as workers. Probably, they don’t want to share the ingredients of the secret sauce. I can’t say I blame them.

CustomBud's very pro website in action

Quality control and testing? Very serious about it. Nevertheless, they were intent on learning how to improve. They asked good questions. I hope I gave good answers. New product lines? We booted that around too.

By 6:30, the lady behind the counter was giving us the you-gonna-order-more-or-give-up-the-table look. Since my lungs were already floating, I suggested we wrap it up.

Maybe I helped them. Maybe they were being polite. But, look at it this way, I got an article out of it. And tea.

CONCLUSION

Eirik Somerville. Remember that name. You may hear it again.